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Monday, February 27, 2012

 A farewell...



I decided that I cannot continue with this blog. I figured that someone should know about it. I may be starting another blog. I may not write another blog because I don't seem to be good at it. If I do begin another blog, I will put the url on my other writing sites. I wonder what I could write about...

Anyway, I figure that I need to research and organize my writing a bit more before I do a blog. Thank you for your interest and I will look forward to hearing from you on my other writing sites.

Monday, January 30, 2012

This trophy tends to slip off the shelf....


Source: Sapphire Jenson






















































































































A candy heart is easily broken and melted...

I have to admit that I chose to see a man that I have never met face to face. We have been talking for about two years. We are great friends and I realized that I could not imagine my life without this man. He lives very far away. These are things which make the relationship difficult, I understand this.
He has begun to act like a man (see my blog "What I mean when I say man")!!! He has, for two years, been acting like a male, but recently he has been acting like a man. It seems that I was just another trophy for him to put on a shelf.
We began having a committed relationship about two months ago. A month ago, he stopped saying he loved me unless I said it first. Three weeks ago, he stopped calling and texting as he usually did. He has all kinds of reasons and most, if not all, are logical and understandable, at least until you put them all together...
I am not a trophy. I don't stay on the shelf very well. I have trouble being neglected. In the process of trying to be patient and understanding, I have become socially active. Therefore, I have come to the attention of several males (men?) and I am lonely. I have come to see the possibility of having a relationship that is not so far away. However, I do care very deeply for this man. Yes, I am now calling him a man. I have tried to talk to him about it, but he has all these logical and rational reasons for neglecting me. I am doing my best to use my program of recovery on this, but I am losing faith in him. I feel that he has become bored or he has found someone else and doesn't want to tell me, for whatever reason (possibly my condition and depression?).
The other thing he has done is to call me when no one else is around, as if he is hiding something. Perhaps, I have done something or said something that has caused this, but as long as he refuses to talk about it, I can do nothing to fix it. Either for this relationship or the next.
I am not perfect, I know this. I tend to want to be on the phone with him even while he is doing other things, just to feel close to him. I understand that men don't like this. I would be willing to just text a few times one day and talk on the phone the next, for a short while. I just need to know that he thinks of me. I really don't think he does anymore. I think he only remembers me when everyone else is busy. I am sorry for this development in our relationship, and I have no idea how to fix it, but I know me. When I begin to feel this way it doesn't take long before I begin to let go of the relationship and just let it fall behind me. Then, the man is wondering what happened because I inform him of what has happened only as it becomes necessary to inform him.
I would rather deal with the heartbreak all at once than to deal with it daily. This is your warning, love. I hope you heed it. I do not wish to end the relationship because I do love you. I will not live with heartbreak and wait for you to decide what it is you want for much longer. So, hurry and make up your mind.

Friday, January 27, 2012

The ultimate man!!!

There is a saying that goes like this: The more perfect they are at the beginning of the relationship, the more deadly it is to get out of the relationship.
I dated this man for a few weeks. He was attentive, generous, sweet,fun, kind and intelligent. Everything a woman could ask for.
Then, he began talking about moving in together. He had points that I could not really argue. He made a great argument for it. So I moved in.
Things were great for another month. Then, he began talking about marriage. I had already been married a time or two and was not ready for the emotional, financial or mental challenges of divorce. However, he kept on and on about it for another month and, to shut him up about it, I agreed.
This is not a good thing. If someone hounds you about something, get away from them. Period! As the engagement progressed, so did the problems in the relationship.
Finally, we were married and I thought there was nothing left for him to hound me about, so things will go better. I was wrong!!!!
This was when the mental and emotional abuse began. This was when I learned what that saying was all about. We were together a total of two years, when I packed up my kids (not his) and fled. I did not run far enough. I had no idea what a monster like this was capable of!
Before I got on a bus with my children and fled to another state, he had hot wired my vehicle and drove it through the nursing home I worked at, his brother had come over to my apartment and raped me, he had tapped and scraped on the windows so much my kids were terrified of the dark, he called at all hours of the day and night to threaten me and my children, and he had managed to drive away every friend I made.
This is the ultimate man!

Saturday, January 21, 2012

What I mean when I say "man"

This is what I see when I see a "man".



 A "man"
First, let me say this: Not all males are men. Let me repeat that. Not all males are men. With this in mind, my blog will make more sense to you. 

I see some males as a separate race from the rest of us. I consider them to be dopplegangers. They put on the disguise of males and parade around like males, but they destroy the reputation of males and the trust women have for males. These are the ones I have come to call "men". I can define them easily enough because they will say things like: I am a real man. I am a man. Real men don't do that. Only gays do that. Men aren't into such things. Men don't talk about their feelings. I know what a woman wants! I know how to satisfy a woman. I don't want any commitment (but when you are seen with another man, they get angry). Associating with a man is like banging your head on a rock wall, it only takes a few times before you do your best to avoid it.

These are the dopplegangers way of giving you hints that they are going to cause you pain and misery. Take their unsaid advice and stay away from them. They are trouble from the get go.

A "male"

These are the ones who most women are looking for. They are sensitive to her feelings without being a sap. They listen and talk about as many subjects as come up without making some kind of comment that belittles others or cuts off communication between them. They do and say things that make a woman feel special and other men feel important. They are humble. They are careful, but don't avoid all risks. They are able to do things that might make them look foolish if it encourages fun and laughter. They call or text just to see if you need anything from wherever they are. They talk to you about activities they have enjoyed, whether it is movies, books, games, or whatever. They allow you to share your activities as well. When they find something they like they will text you something like: I can't wait to tell you about...". They will do your nails as long as you promise not to tell anyone. They will go window shopping with you and be smart enough to say things like: I don't think that color is good on you. You should try that shirt on. Those shoes look hot! Do you think this dress is my color? (as he holds up the ugliest dress you've ever seen). I like this bikini, do you think its too much for me to wear swimming?
The best thing about males is that when you are upset, they ask "How can I help?" Instead of assuming they know what you want them to do or avoiding you because they have no idea.

One of the biggest differences between men and males is their faithfulness. If a man finds he is attracted to another woman while he is with you, he will sneak around and see her behind your back. If a male finds he is attracted to another woman while he is with you, he will talk with you about it or leave the relationship. Men make doing things with you miserable while males will make the best of the situation. However, unless you want them to quit doing those things than you had better let them know that you appreciate what they are doing for them and give them the same respect and encouragement when they ask you to go fishing or whatever.

After all, if they can do it, we can too!!!!

Saturday, January 14, 2012






Men are like hunting dogs!!!

If you turn your back on a dog, they will take off the first chance they get. Then, when they return, tired and hungry, they are wagging their tail and happy to see you. When you scold them, they are confused. Men are like that. They go off hunting, fishing, whatever. Then, they come back, tired and hungry, expecting you to be happy to see them. Just like a dog!

A hunting dog will drag back whatever they have killed and show it off. Then, when he gets tired of that trophy, he goes and gets a new one. Men will go out find a woman, wine and dine her and bring her home. He will show her off to family and friends, then when he gets tired of her, he goes and gets a new one. Just like a hunting dog!

Most dogs will let anyone pet them and scratch them, if they are talked to nicely. Most men will too.

Don't get me wrong. They have their good points. Both men and dogs know their way home. They will stop and play with whatever female is in heat along the way, but they will come home eventually...

Another good point that men and dogs have in common is that they are both nice and warm to cuddle up to on a cold winter night. However, dogs have one thing better than men. When you cuddle with them on a cold winter night, they don't give you an STD!!!!

Another good point that men and dogs have in common is that certain ones can make money. The thing that dogs have over men is that they are happy with a couple of chew toys and some dog food, while the men spend theirs on things that give them excuses to go hunting some more!

I admit that this is a gross over generalization and that there are some men out there that are not like this. However, I have only heard rumors of such creatures and they may be like the unicorn...  Often dreamed of and never seen!!!

Okay, I know. Many of you are going to be angry about this. I understand. However, if you think about it. We love our hunting dogs! We would not trade them for anything, right? I am not saying that we should not love men and that men are bad or anything. I am just saying, we need to understand that men are men. We cannot change them. We have to accept them the way they are, or do without them. Period.

To keep people from thinking that I am completely serious about this, I thought I should note that I do know of some men who are not like this. However, these men do not do me any good because they are gay and have the same problems I do!!!!

Monday, December 26, 2011

Laughter as needed...

I wander... or is it wonder?


I am sitting up in my bed typing this. I have already lost the use of all my limbs today, landing me on the floor. This, of course, brought great joy to the animals in the house. They immediately came in, taking full advantage of the situation, began to lick me as they saw fit and chew on y hands and feet. The kitten, found the wagging tails too hard to resist and pounced with all four clawed paws. Being a kitten, she doesn't have the best aim and she missed by a long shot, landing her claws in the middle of my back. So, there I was, the new playground for my boxer mix, my room mates weiner dog, and a kitten.

It takes an hour or so, but eventually I get my right arm back and my mom helps me into the wheelchair. I move around a little bit, doing a few things. Eating something to hold me over in case it happens again, drinking plenty to keep from needing a drink if it happens again, prepare my computer for me working from my bed, in case only part of it happens again, and launch myself onto my bed.

Remember, I only have one arm to use. I push off the chair with my right arm and land on my head with my butt in the air and one leg on each side of my head. Then, I roll to the left and have to catch myself with my right hand before I fall off the bed onto the floor. After long moments of struggling, I am in a comfortable position. My legs are dangling off the bed and the kitten attacks my toes. I yank my knees to my chest and realize I went through all that struggle for nothing! I had full use of all my limbs back.

This post was going to be about unicorns, and I did find something interesting involving unicorns, but this seemed more important. I think that laughter is the best medicine for anything that ails you, even if nothing ails you at all!

In the spirit of laughter, lets have a little fun!!

Found this on twitter...

http://unicorn.namegeneratorfun.com/
My unicorn name is: 
Bluebell Silver Nostrils
Bluebell is an eccentric genius with a big imagination.
She is silver like the moonlight,
and she dances in clouds of falling stars.
 
 Put in comments what your unicorn name and description is!

Who ate the first egg?

 In my first blog, I talked about a conversation I had with a friend of mine about the first person to eat an egg. The question has popped back up among my circle of associates, so I went searching for some answers. I found that we were not the only ones to ask this question. I found several sites where someone had asked the question and it was answered.




Here is where I found the question and an answer...

http://thaimassageinfo.com/?p=2631

This is a site where people "chat" about the first person to eat eggs, though I would not call any of their answers interesting...

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060702105402AANrAJw

This one is not as good, though it does raise some other questions...

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Who_decided_to_eat_chicken_eggs_first

This one has a neat story in it...

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090106065912AAxN4nS

This one has an answer that is probably the most realistic...

I think I have an answer, given the history lessons I remember and the stories that I have read. Along with some creative imaginings...

Back in the days before time, when the world was new and the creatures were still figuring out who belonged where, a clan of cave dwellers were going about their daily food searches. The females were in charge of gathering and storing, while the males were in charge of hunting.

 

One of female cave dwellers noticed strange creatures in the sky. She watched as they went to and from another cave. She got closer to see what they were doing in there. When she was close enough to see inside, she saw creatures that were their competition for food eating the flying creatures rocks. She told a male about it and he decided to hunt one. This was useless. They flew out of range and, if one was hit, they couldn't find the carcass anyway.

However, this made the flying creatures take note of the cave dwellers. One day one of the flying creatures found a young cave dweller by themselves and snatched them off the ground. They took them to their nest and released them for the young to eat. While trying to get away, the cave dweller broke one of the strange rocks which filled the nests in the cave. The young cave dweller hid inside the broken egg.

While the young cave dweller was in the egg, they became very hungry and began to eat the goo which was oozing out of the crack. This filled them up and the shell kept them warm, so they stayed there until all the noises stopped.

When the noises stopped, it was dark and hard for the cave dweller to see. They took one of the eggs to nourish them on their return to their cave and made the trek back to their cave below.

Upon their return, they put the egg near their campfire to keep for future use. While it was there, it cooked and became a hard boiled egg. Finally, the egg cracked and the clan shared the egg.

"There's reason in roasting eggs." James Howell, English Proverbs.
This is my take on the who ate the first egg question. I hope you enjoyed it!!!